Princess for a Day - and a woman for the rest of her life

Yesterday was Doraliz's Quinceanara and I think I finally get what the event signifies and why it was important to Doraliz's family to have this special day in her honor.   
Last Spring, we were invited to be at the event and our primary gift was the purchase of her dress.  Just finding a "costurera" who could look at the photo of the dress Dora had chosen, and create it using all locally found materials was a feat, in my mind.  I had given Bety, the dressmaker, a deposit of half of the cost in advance, prior to our departure and I had left the remainder of the money in a sealed envelope with Doraliz to be paid when the dress was finished.  Many of my friends cautioned me that what I had done was silly.  I even questioned myself, how could I expect a family of 6 who must have many competing needs for their limited resources, keep from using the money on a different priority, only to ask me for more.  But that didn't happen, and last week, we were given a sneak peek at the beautiful dress, and also shown that Mom had actually had the seamstress use the tiniest of leftover pieces of material from Doraliz's dress to complete similarly styled and colored dresses for Angela and Lilly...making for a total "look" that even extended to Dora's handsome older brother Julio and his "primo".  Both young men would accompany Dora down the aisle for the event.

We were asked to drive Dora to the church, so at 5:30 p.m. with a newly washed car, and us wearing our 'finest clothes"...we headed up to her home, not really sure what to expect...  When we rounded the corner at the top of the steep hill, we were welcomed with huge smiles by Doraliz in "the dress" and her siblings wearing their party dresses, shirts and vests.  I was brought to tears by the shear beauty of our young student and was so very honored to have been able to help her to look like a true princess on this day of her life.  Yes the dress was lovely, but her hair, makeup, shoes, jewellery had somehow miraculously been provided and combined to truly make her into the princess of her dreams. Of course all of this was perhaps magnified by the sharp contrast to the backdrop of the street where some of the poorest residents of Zihuatanejo access the barrio below Doraliz's home. 

With many hugs, kisses, laughter and soon accompanied by the sound of a small Mexican band which had been booked for the occasion,  Doraliz's sat serenely in the middle of the street while the finishing touches were added to her hair and our car!

Gene, after some prompting from Doraliz's 10 year old sister, gave Dora a little twirl around the dance area on the street, and then we struggled to get Dora and her hooped skirt into the car for the short drive to their church. 

We know that the church is an important part of Doraliz's family's life and unlike a Catholic ceremony, this small Baptist congregation seemed more like a group of family members who all knew and loved this family deeply.   Dora was escorted to the front of the church where she remained.  The youth minister started the service which soon transitioned into an upbeat musical concert which Gene likened to Karaoke as the words flashed on the wall behind the pulpit.   The "pastor" made a lengthy and very personal speech to Doraliz where I was able to understand that he was instructing Dora about the importance of honoring herself in her words and actions, and the importance of her parents as she entered into this phase of her young adult life.  She was given a ring which she was instructed to wear until she is married and a white bible.  Although I have become cynical of organized religion, I was struck by the caring manner that the minister chose to deliver to Doraliz the kind of message we want all young people to have...that they are important, what they do is important and the next few years, although a difficult time for most youth, can be successfully managed by remaining true to your principles and the teachings of your parents and the significant people in your community,.....I was impressed!

Together with the approximate 100 friends from the church, we then went upstairs to the party...the appearance of beautiful flowers, a lavish cake, balloon decorations, a hot meal and small gifts for the guests at each table will remain a mystery to me.  I know that Dora and her sisters made the little Barbie doll type center pieces that are the hallmark of quinceanaras, and that the hors'd'ouvres of pastel colored mini-marshmalows and lollipops are the standard for parties in Mexico.   Doraliz's Mom gave a small speech to thank everyone who had contributed to the occasion, and although we were introduced as "the Americano's"  we received a hearty round of applause and handshakes for our role in her life.

I don't think this, my first, quinceanara represents all, some would be more lavish, many would not be as religious, most would have dancing...but all in all, I get it....I get that in this small seaside fishing village where the majority of young women will have babies and small children by the time they are 18 that there is hope for a different future.  I know Doraliz's parents value her education and want a good life for her and there are risks here that she will face.  I hope that as she matures, that she can look back on this one day, and know that many people came together to create a day she was proud to just be herself.  This ceremony which marks one of the many "rites of passage" in life, was worth so much more than money can buy.