The meaning of "Home" - Security and Peace

I never realized until I returned to Zihuatanejo this time, how much I count on things being the same as we left them when we return.  Perhaps I shouldn't say things, but more importantly, I count on the people being the same....I count on the familiar faces who we've come to know in our community.  And they are not only the faces of the ex-pats who make this their home in winter; almost more importantly, it is the faces of the locals who live their lives in a quiet routine that hasn't changed much that I can see since I starting coming here 7 years ago.   We know many of them because we do "business" at their establishments, but we know others because of living in the neighborhood, I consider them our friends and neighbours.    Of course, we are becoming even closer to one special family who now consider us "Familia"...the family of our Nino's Adelante student Doraliz who came for cake and icecream and a "pool party" for her actual birthday - the quinceanara is next weekend and we are excited to see the dress and enjoy this special celebration.

This year, we had heard that there was a period of time during the summer where local businesses were being held hostage by demands for "protection money" - some of the owners had chosen to leave because they wouldn't play the game and feared for their safety.   So when we returned this year, at first glance it seemed like there were a few of our familiar favorites missing.    Now after one week of being here, we have discovered that some that we feared were missing have simply moved.  In a country where many people cannot afford to buy homes and business locales, they are victims of the landlords who, if a business is successful, often double or triple the monthly rent, forcing businesses to relocate. 

Yesterday when walking back into our apartment complex, I ran into Raul, the owner and developer of our two condominiums.  He asked me if I was happy to be back, so I told  him how important it is to me to see the same people, to feel like I "know" what and where to expect things and in the usual wisdom of Mexicans' he said "but of course,  this is your "home"" and I realized that he is right.  I truly do think of this as home and I want to feel comfortable, I like knowing and being known.
So when Gene told me that he had heard from a rather reliable source that the 7 bodies that were found executed and left by a busy roadside were reportedly the extortionists who were terrorizing local businesses, it all seemed to make sense.  The rumor is that they were killed by the locals in order to put an end to their reign of terror.  Regrettably, these summer time murders had been broadcast on network news globally, and added to the fear people have of visiting our area.  Rather than being horrified by what could be called 'vigilante justice", I am in fact almost glad  that the locals found a way of ending the terror that was preventing them from earning a living and feeling safe and secure.   This is a complex society, with old world formalities and modern attributes.  People play by age old rules and when broken, justice is swift and often not in line with what we might experience back in Canada.

But many things here aren't what we experience in Canada, in good and bad ways.  On our first major stock up trip to our large grocery retailer here, Commercial Mexicana,  we were greeted by a store employee, a "gringo customer relations'  person who strolls the store asking us "is there anything you are looking for that I can help you with" or "if there is something that you would like, let me know and we'll bring it in for you" - this is a place that is trying hard to win back our loyalty and cares about my having a great experience in my home.

Security and peace are an important goal, but having my grocery store bring in my favorite foods comes a close second!

Just like the birds it was time to head south

 

We made our decision to return to Zihuatanejo a couple of weeks earlier than usual this year.  We wanted to be here for a some special people we care a lot about.  Our sponsored student in "Nino's Adelante" has a special birthday on October 29th and we are invited to be part of her quinceanara - you may have read about that last Spring when I wrote about saying "Yes to the dress".   And we also had news that my dear friend Monica's daughter Jimena would be married in October.  If we could by chance by here for both...well that would be so much fun!

So with seat prices at an all time low, we purchased our tix, arranged our home rental in Victoria and then found out that both the quinceanara and the wedding were delayed.  But in the meantime, the dull rains of Fall on Vancouver Island moved in and we felt very smug about our decision to be away early. 
As always I will miss my friends and family, so our final week was spent seeing all the people who are special to us in Canada. 

Our last night was spent in Vancouver and we had the good fortune of being able to see our 3 adult children and their partners for a final dinner.  Because our second home and our life takes us away from Canada at Xmas time, I was very happy to hear that each of our kids is hoping to come to Zihua for a visit this winter and we will be happy to see them, and above all else, it takes the guesswork out of what to buy them for Xmas!

I have felt a little guilty escaping Xmas for the past 3 years, but during my last few weeks in Victoria whenever I headed into a store for yet one more thing to bring here, I cringed inwardly when I saw the growing stocks of merchandise all designed to help people celebrate Xmas with some new "Made in China' decorations that are so beautifully displayed everywhere.   I felt so happy to be going to a place where people don't have the same capacity for purchasing and the huge pressures of commercialization are a little more remote.   Today when I took my first stroll along Calle Cocos, the street of the food merchants, I was surprised to see the 2 women from the Montanas of Guerrero were already set up selling their cornhusk wreaths and decorations...In Canada I would think..."it's not even Hallowe'en"...and today I found myself thinking "it's not even Dia de los Muertos". 

We are gradually reconnecting with our Mexico amigos.   The streets, beaches and shops are quiet and many of the previous businesses have closed.  Only a few restaurants are open...the town is only just recovering from the heavy rains that drenched the streets no less than a week or two ago.  Together with a summer of threats and some actual violent altercations between two opposing drug cartels vying for turf here, the locals seem a bit embarrassed by the quietness of our chosen home, but with that they greet us with warm "bienvenidos" - welcoming back our familiar faces.  Our first days are spent trying to remember all the details of how to do the things that make our life here so easy.  Cell phones, bank cards, food storage, flea/tick medications for Cori, groceries...I can honestly say this is no laying in the sun Mexican vacation...this is life! The damp days of summer take a toll on all things electrical so we are mired in a bunch of repair problems, but as always, the people here make it all seem like "no problemo".  Trades people appear after only just mentioning the problem to our fabulous Vanessa...

But it can never be all work and no play with a dog like Cori, so late Monday afternoon, with dark clouds threatening yet another tropical rain, we headed to Playa Madera to play a little ball and see the water.  We were not disappointed as Cori worked his magic with the children, and the frigates and pelicans glided overhead skimming down to try to snatch the fish from the waves.  We all came home a little sandy, but ever so glad to be back on "hometurf" in Mexico! 

Postscript  Tuesday p.m. :  Today the sun is shining brightly.  I ventured back to Yoga class with Paty at La Ropa Beach.  There are only a few people walking along that magical strip of sand - everywhere you look is blue, blue sky and blue, blue ocean.   The colors of Mexico are bright and I hope today we'll chip away a little bit more on our long list of "to do's".  I'm finding my reasonably newly made resolution of being a "non drinker" a lot more challenging here than in Victoria - this is the place of Corona commercial dreams

Goodbye Mexico....hello rest of my life!

It's time to go home...I know it is, I've been telling everyone how excited I am to be seeing my other home, my kids, my garden, my friends....but last night, when the full moon rose over Zihua Bay, I felt that incredible pull this place has on me....this is not going to be easy!

I've been busy for the past 10 days.  6 of my best friends who share a 42 year friendship beginning with our 3 years of living together in a nurses' residence in Calgary came here to play.  We called it a "mini-reunion" and based it around our shared 60th birthdays that all fall within a year more or less.   I wanted them to see where I spend approximatelly half of my life and I hoped they would see and feel what I feel and they did...they got it.  What I heard was " the people are so beautiful and so friendly", "you have a good life" and "it's so great to walk everywhere".  We ate, we drank and we did our best to see, hear and experience some of the charms that could go undiscovered on a typical one week AI vacation here.   We did well......

I have a lot to do on my second last day here today... but on the top of the list is to say goodbye to my special friends.  Monica, Lilly and Isabelle, the 3 women in Colonia La Madera who I now call "friends"....Our chance meeting and your always present smiles and friendliness has made living here such a great experience.  We count on you being here when we return. 

Paty on La Ropa Beach who runs the best yoga studio in town, thank you for your gift of a daily yoga class...  The sadness that Paty has had this month with the death of her mother has made us all realize how very special her everpresent smiles and caring ways have been in my life. 

Vanessa, Enrique, Marina and Raul who manage our home while we are away...we love you and appreciate all that you do to make this home a special, beautiful and safe place for this diverse group of "gringos".  We don't make it easy for you.   Some depend on you for everything, but Gene and I are trying to learn to be independent, we are trying to make our way in this strange place and we will miss you so much while we are gone.  Stay well and we will see you in October. 

And today we say goodbye to our special "family".   Our chance contribution to Ninos Adelante has enriched our life here so much.  We are having Doraliz and her 3 siblings come for a final swim, a pizza lunch and we want to leave them with some of the food we can't possibly finish.   We also need to leave the final payment for her quincineara dress that will be done while we are away.  We will miss their hugs, their laughter and their shy English - you are beautiful and we hope you are safe and well when we return in October for your party - we hope you stay in touch with us but I know it is not easy when we are gone. 

And of course how could  I forget my "ex-pat" friends....there aren't many of us left here, but my closest shopping buddy Iris, who has just returned from the fair in Uruapan will have a carload of treasures to show me and great tales of her adventure to recount.   We are planning how we can get together this summer in San Francisco so we don't spend so many months without seeing each other. 

My blog has taken a "hit".  My camera is broken, and one of my great joys which is to photograph the people and places I love has been disrupted.  But I promise to remain faithful to my goal of trying to describe what makes this place special. 

So,  I better get busy, lots of laundry, lots of packing and lots of hugs to do....adios Mexico, but welcome to my life in Canada....get ready cause here I come!

Mexico - a man's world, but where women are the heart of the home

I started to write this post last week, when my indignation was at a prime, but somehow life has a way of interfering in my writing.  But as I have frequently noticed lately, if my heart and head are open, I end up learning more...and my writing changes. 
Last week, I had to visit the office of the local tourist police.  It began in Mexico City when I lost my ATM card for my local Mexican bank account.  Although the card was cancelled immediately and we were told no charges had been incurred, when we received our statement over a month later, we found that approximately $400 Canadian had been spent at 8 different businesses in the big city, and without the thief having access to either my PIN nor having to provide a signature.  So, hoping to rectify this we learned from our bank that the starting point was filing a report with the police.  After a preliminary meeting, our property manager, Vanessa offered to assist me, but not wanting to waste her time, I dismissed her presence after a few minutes when I realized the officer could speak passable English, and I could provide information in my rudimentary Spanish if needed.  No sooner had Vanessa left the office when the "gringa" put down started.  One question asked was "do you like Margaritas"...followed quickly by "which beach do you like?"...now not wanting to jeaporadize my chances of getting the required report, I somewhat reluctantly offered answers that wouldn't imply I was an alcoholic, but that I also loved the local culture....right, no?   Well, after being asked for money to get the required photocopying done, I was also summarily told to provide the change as a "propina" to the secretary who was entering the report on the computer...was this not her job?? 

But, hey I am not naive, I know that the system here requires a foreigner to pay more... but my shock was when I brought the "hard earned' report to my bank.    The bank could not speak to me...I was a non-entity.  The account was only in the name of my spouse, so the letter I had written, the report I had made were insignificant unless my husband were to submit and sign them. But I knew we had made the account a joint account,  my name had been added earlier in the year, when we wanted to assure ourselves there would be no hiccups if something were to ever happen to Gene....but alas,  all records of that 2 hour appointment had gone missing, and so had in fact, our file at the bank.  I was persona non-grata...I was the "esposa", but nobody!  
When I expressed my outrage that our file and our intent of joint bank account was lost....I was smiled at sweetly by Sra. Bety, in her words.."well, what can I do?"   The chances of my getting our money returned to the account are slim, Bety says that really, if it had been Gene's card and the money had been taken...well, that might have been possible, but she will reluctantly submit the mess of paperwork that I initiated, with Gene's signatures attached and we will see what the head office in Mexico City says.....hmmm....I think times haven't changed all that much. 

So yesterday, when we finally were able to take the awaited for trip to the coffee plantation and the mountains with our friends Monica and Anibel,  I wanted the altitude and country air to clear my head...I wanted to feel that magic I had felt last year when I first visited the "montanas" and saw the people.  Armed with a lunch and treats for the children, our Ford Explorer did the job of a good burro and brought us and the 16 year old son of Anibel's mountain neighbour to their home.  Sergio is one of 9 children of this hardworking couple.  Together with an older and younger brother, these 3 young men live in Zihuatanejo in a rented apartment that they pay the costs for in order to attend school during the week.  2 are employed by Anibel in his bamboo furniture factory, it is Anibel's way of assisting his neighbour and one more example for me of how people here all do help each other in unique ways. 

Once again, I met the mother, Angelina and her husband Genio.  Together with her lovely daughter in law, who is also the mother of a 4 month old 3rd child, the women quicky went to work making us our welcoming meal....they didn't have to, we weren't hungry, but we each knew that their offer meant more about the friendship than anything else.  

So after admiring children, taking photos, listening to the men chat, we went on what is their equivalent of a Sunday jaunt.  Accompanied by their elder son driving most of the family, we went further along the rough dirt road to Anibel's land...he says this proudly and it is the place he loves.  Anibel and I and Cori joined 2 athletic young men on the downhill trail tocheck his new bamboo plantation, an addition to the coffee plantation that he has recently made to ensure a supply of his material in the years to come.   We learned this was a bad year for coffee beans after the heavy rains in the summer,...but that is offset by the high price of the beans...so overall, smiles were evident, but I know these are not rich people...these are people who barely have enough.  I also learned that the United Nations is visiting this region to provide cash to farmers who agree to not clearcut their land and plant alternate crops to coffee, like the now evident avocado plantations nor clear land for cattle grazing. 

With only a minor flesh wound  (you can imagine the horrified looks of the Mexicans who thought they had injured me)  from that little walk through the forest,  our next stop was a short stroll through open pines and dry trees out to a spectacular "mirador" that opens with views of the surrounding hills and the coast from Barra de Potosi to Lazaro Cardenas.  It provided the perfect backdrop for some spectacular photos with Cori and his new family.  Angelina and her daughter in law carried the children who couldn't yet walk,...but they did this with no complaints....this was their outing too...I think this means a lot to women who spend 90% of their time working hard to keep everyone fed, clean, well and sheltered.  This was their chance to relax and recharge.  I learned that the word housewife in Mexico is "ama de casa"...and this "love of home" is what and who keeps the organization of food, health, safety and clothing for 9 children and the Chilapas workers who temporarily live here during the peaks of coffee plantation work.   I found myself thinking of these people like the pioneers who went to the wilderness of Canada, no this is not the harsh cold and brutal seasons of Canada, but nontheless, they are people who have forsaken a more modern lifestyle for a place where oldfashioned skills and values are what count.  Gene and I are lucky to have friends here in Mexico who allow us to share in the places they love.  Gracias once again Monica and Anibel for a day in the organic shadegrown coffee plantations of the high mountains. 
p.s. perhaps it was the love in my heart or the clear mountain air that cleared my thoughts so today when I went to the bank, I remembered who we had met with when my name was to be added to our account in January.The manager cheerfully welcomed me to his office where he miraculously found my file and yes indeed my name is now added to our chequing account...I'm again in existence in the eyes of Scotiabank.  Not a joint account...that would be too much, but I can write a cheque should I need to!!!  Que bueno!

Cooking with Rick and saying "yes" to the dress

The naysayers were indeed wrong this time, the Food and Wine Magazine sponsored Festival that is currently on here and in Ixtapa, our upscale neighbour,  is a huge success.  Of course, for the gourmands and wine connoiseurs who travelled from the US or Canada where it is still white or gray in this chilly Spring, how could it not be! 

So Iris and I carefully chose the events we wanted to see, and headed off early yesterday morning to hear the guru of Mexican cooking, Rick Bayless, do the premier seminar at Hotel Las Brisas in Ixtapa.  I may have been one of the few people there who do not watch Rick on Food TV, but I do know about Rick and I do have one of his cookbooks.   Listening to Rick acclaim the wonders of our local cuisine, shopping for fresh ingredients in the mercado and watching him use the same techniques for making red chile salsas as my friend Monica, from The Cooking school at Patio Mexica,  just reaffirmed my belief that the intuitive ways of cooking that happen here are indeed special.  It is easy to forget that what we see on a daily basis is a culture still linked to its traditions and those traditions are sought after by people all around the world...and this weekend the people who are here prove it.

So as we enter our final 3 weeks before we return home to Victoria, I have a primary goal left.  Our sponsored student in Nino's Adelante, Doraliz,  will be turning 15 in this coming October.  For most of the young women in Mexico this event is marked by the special celebration called Quinceneara.  We were invited to be here for Doraliz's fiesta on October 29th so we will book our flights with that date in mind.  But when I talked to our friends Shelagh and Ross who have attended so many of these events with families who they support, I wanted to know how I could help this family who have so little with the costs of the event.  What could we do, what should we buy as a gift?   Shelagh and Ross sagely said that whatever we did, we didn't want to buy the dress, because these dresses are very expensive...but they suggested we should ask Doraliz's Mom "como podemos ayudarles por la quincineara?"  ("How can we help you with the party" ) Without a moment's hesitation, she looked at me and said "compra la vestido?"    ("Buy the dress") But then she had a further request...that we not just purchase a dress at the store, but instead, we should find a dressmaker to make a custom dress of Doraliz's dreams for the occasion.   Now, Doraliz is tall and very slim and in Mexico, most labour is very inexpensive, so without further thought I said "of course"  Porsupuesto.....and the fun has begun. 

With the help of my good friend Monica we have secured a costurera "Bety" who lives close to us and is capable of designing and making a dress based on a photo.  So after assuring myself and Doraliz's Mom that the meeting between the designer and the debutante went well, we entered the realm of internet searching for dresses.   Armed with prints of every dress she liked, Doraliz has made her selection....we have the measurements and our next step is to purchase the material....

For Doraliz, who lives at the top of a hill, her neighbours are squatters with no functioning plumbing, dirt floors and the threat of eviction by the city,....this will be the night of her dreams.   Her family are devoted to the success of her and her 3 siblings.  Her young parents with the weight of the world on their shoulders are committed to giving her the party of her dreams and how can we not help.  We will do all we can to ensure that once in Doraliz's life her dreams can come true...because there may just be many other dreams that she can accomplish too and we hope we are playing a part in them too.  Now how about a few school items for her classroom!   

The bonds that connect us and different visions of "Paradise"

I've just returned from 5 days in Anthem Arizona with 7 friends who have known me for most of my life. Although each of us has chosen very different paths, and some have faced significant challenges, it was remarkably easy to reconnect our friendships and celebrate our 60th birth year. We all feel blessed to share in this timeless friendship and to be in this time and space in our lives entering our next decade.  Some of the group are still happily working in jobs that they love and others, like me are retired, fully or partially. 

We stayed in the vacation home of Diane and Vic, an attractively furnished, spacious home in a Del Webb planned community of design restricted homes, golf courses and recreation centers in the desert outside of Phoenix.  All of the homes were painted in the colors of the desert and the landscaping of all homes and common properties were tasteful combinations of rocks and cacti or desert trees.  The streets were wide and car free as everyone parks inside their 2 or 3 car garages.  The majority of cars were seen at one of the two recreation complexes which are built in each community.  In fact, that is where we saw the majority of people, as each home appeared vacant although in fact we were told that at least 60% of the houses were owned by fulltime residents and this particular community was not restricted to seniors only.  The nights were quiet with  the only sounds in the neighborhood the morning and evening birdsounds of the California Quails as they meandered through the neighborhood happy to have the sun and warmth back in the desert. 

Arriving back here in Zihua was like entering another world!  Not only is our little condominium apartment a tiny space with minimal amenities compared to the luxury of the desert homes we saw, but also, the town is alive with the busy combination of a long holiday weekend and Mardi Gras.  This year, the riotous party celebrated to coincide with the start of Lent was delayed a week, probably to avoid conflict with Guitarfest and to ensure that the maximum number of Mexicans could attend while they are here for their ritualistic beachside vacation celebrating Benito Juarez's birthday (the first day of Spring). 

Unknowing bus drivers from inland pueblas are attempting to weave their way through our small colonia streets, unloading groups of vacation holiday makers.  The parade was a sensory feast including free beer from the Corona float and to top it all off ..... last night's full moon was the largest it will be for years to come. 

This welcome back to our vacation home was just the cultural jolt I needed to clear my head of the desert and vacation home envy.  Together with a little adventure jaunt to a previously unknown destination (Playa Valentin - only accessible by panga) I was quickly reminded why we chose Mexico as our second home.  I saw the beauty in the desert, I understand the value of having perfectly manicured properties, spacious homes and well planned recreation complexes to ensure fitness.   But for me....this is where I feel the happiest...Mexico, it's not for everyone, but it works for me. 

And now I'm on a mission...buying a quincineara dress for Doraliz - this week we will meet with the dressmaker "costurera" who will create the perfect princess dress of Doraliz's dreams in time for October when we return for her fiesta. 

Happy Spring! 

A week to party...a day to pray and a trip to see old friends

When I'm in Victoria, I find myself telling others about Zihuatanejo, and how I spend my time there each year.  One of the highlights annually is a fundraising event called the Zihuatanejo International Guitarfest, which is a week long music festival hosting a variety of international musicians with varied guitar styles playing in concerts and "bar shows" around town.  So, how could my flamenco dancing, Gaelic music loving Canadian dragonboating friend who was born in Scotland of Polish ancestors not come?  When Irena arrived, I had fun introducing her to our Mexican and ex-pat friends....I watched their reactions as I explained this interesting cultural juxtaposition in this country where the majority of people will live there entire lives within 20 kms. of their birthplace.  Oh Canada...you are a true multicultural country!

The week has been spent combining being "tourists in our own town" and music junkies as we go from gala concerts, beach side dinner shows to curbside dancing outside the packed restaurants and clubs which host the events.   It's almost over and everyone is already talking about how it can be better next year.  It's an amazing accomplishment in this small town and thanks to all the volunteers who have worked so hard to make it happen. 

But yesterday we awoke to the horrible news of the Japan earthquake, we watched and listened on Internet and CNN channels that were playing all over town.  We were told to prepare for a possible tsunami and found all the small beachside cafes empty, schools along lowlying areas were closed and the town seemed to be in a state of suspended animation as the predicted hour arrived and nothing happened.  But approximately 4 p.m. local time, Gene noticed that the water level in the bay receded, water rushed out from the local boat harbor, the Salinas Lagoon and within a few minutes, waves and ocean water flowed back toward the shore...luckily no damage anywhere here, but a day to reflect on how a similar event here or back home in Victoria would be experienced. 

So today, I pack to say farewell to this place I love.  I am heading to Phoenix to meet up with 7 of my school days (think 50 years ago) friends for a 5 day party at Diane's sunny home.  My friends from Canada can't wait to get to the heat and I'm worried that it could be too cold and I have no warm clothes.  We aremeeting to have a little party to celebrate the year of our 60th birthdays.  I'm excited about seeing everyone, but I also know that I'm stepping outside of my comfort zone,  I'm going to a big city with big traffic, big box stores and big price tags...all things that living for 5 months inZihuatanejo does not accustom me to....but to the big city I go.   Party on!!   Gene and Cori and Irena will be here without me to say goodbye to the rest of the musicians at the Sunday night in the zocalo conert and I'll be back with some of the treasures you can only by north of the border...like doggie bags and good quality shampoo.... see you soon back here in Mexico!