Monday, April 18, 2011

Goodbye Mexico....hello rest of my life!

It's time to go home...I know it is, I've been telling everyone how excited I am to be seeing my other home, my kids, my garden, my friends....but last night, when the full moon rose over Zihua Bay, I felt that incredible pull this place has on me....this is not going to be easy!

I've been busy for the past 10 days.  6 of my best friends who share a 42 year friendship beginning with our 3 years of living together in a nurses' residence in Calgary came here to play.  We called it a "mini-reunion" and based it around our shared 60th birthdays that all fall within a year more or less.   I wanted them to see where I spend approximatelly half of my life and I hoped they would see and feel what I feel and they did...they got it.  What I heard was " the people are so beautiful and so friendly", "you have a good life" and "it's so great to walk everywhere".  We ate, we drank and we did our best to see, hear and experience some of the charms that could go undiscovered on a typical one week AI vacation here.   We did well......
I have a lot to do on my second last day here today... but on the top of the list is to say goodbye to my special friends.  Monica, Lilly and Isabelle, the 3 women in Colonia La Madera who I now call "friends"....Our chance meeting and your always present smiles and friendliness has made living here such a great experience.  We count on you being here when we return. 

Paty on La Ropa Beach who runs the best yoga studio in town, thank you for your gift of a daily yoga class...  The sadness that Paty has had this month with the death of her mother has made us all realize how very special her everpresent smiles and caring ways have been in my life. 

Vanessa, Enrique, Marina and Raul who manage our home while we are away...we love you and appreciate all that you do to make this home a special, beautiful and safe place for this diverse group of "gringos".  We don't make it easy for you.   Some depend on you for everything, but Gene and I are trying to learn to be independent, we are trying to make our way in this strange place and we will miss you so much while we are gone.  Stay well and we will see you in October. 

And today we say goodbye to our special "family".   Our chance contribution to Ninos Adelante has enriched our life here so much.  We are having Doraliz and her 3 siblings come for a final swim, a pizza lunch and we want to leave them with some of the food we can't possibly finish.   We also need to leave the final payment for her quincineara dress that will be done while we are away.  We will miss their hugs, their laughter and their shy English - you are beautiful and we hope you are safe and well when we return in October for your party - we hope you stay in touch with us but I know it is not easy when we are gone. 

And of course how could  I forget my "ex-pat" friends....there aren't many of us left here, but my closest shopping buddy Iris, who has just returned from the fair in Uruapan will have a carload of treasures to show me and great tales of her adventure to recount.   We are planning how we can get together this summer in San Francisco so we don't spend so many months without seeing each other. 

My blog has taken a "hit".  My camera is broken, and one of my great joys which is to photograph the people and places I love has been disrupted.  But I promise to remain faithful to my goal of trying to describe what makes this place special. 

So,  I better get busy, lots of laundry, lots of packing and lots of hugs to do....adios Mexico, but welcome to my life in Canada....get ready cause here I come!

Monday, April 4, 2011

Mexico - a man's world, but where women are the heart of the home



I started to write this post last week, when my indignation was at a prime, but somehow life has a way of interfering in my writing.  But as I have frequently noticed lately, if my heart and head are open, I end up learning more...and my writing changes. 
Last week, I had to visit the office of the local tourist police.  It began in Mexico City when I lost my ATM card for my local Mexican bank account.  Although the card was cancelled immediately and we were told no charges had been incurred, when we received our statement over a month later, we found that approximately $400 Canadian had been spent at 8 different businesses in the big city, and without the thief having access to either my PIN nor having to provide a signature.  So, hoping to rectify this we learned from our bank that the starting point was filing a report with the police.  After a preliminary meeting, our property manager, Vanessa offered to assist me, but not wanting to waste her time, I dismissed her presence after a few minutes when I realized the officer could speak passable English, and I could provide information in my rudimentary Spanish if needed.  No sooner had Vanessa left the office when the "gringa" put down started.  One question asked was "do you like Margaritas"...followed quickly by "which beach do you like?"...now not wanting to jeaporadize my chances of getting the required report, I somewhat reluctantly offered answers that wouldn't imply I was an alcoholic, but that I also loved the local culture....right, no?   Well, after being asked for money to get the required photocopying done, I was also summarily told to provide the change as a "propina" to the secretary who was entering the report on the computer...was this not her job?? 

But, hey I am not naive, I know that the system here requires a foreigner to pay more... but my shock was when I brought the "hard earned' report to my bank.    The bank could not speak to me...I was a non-entity.  The account was only in the name of my spouse, so the letter I had written, the report I had made were insignificant unless my husband were to submit and sign them. But I knew we had made the account a joint account,  my name had been added earlier in the year, when we wanted to assure ourselves there would be no hiccups if something were to ever happen to Gene....but alas,  all records of that 2 hour appointment had gone missing, and so had in fact, our file at the bank.  I was persona non-grata...I was the "esposa", but nobody!  
When I expressed my outrage that our file and our intent of joint bank account was lost....I was smiled at sweetly by Sra. Bety, in her words.."well, what can I do?"   The chances of my getting our money returned to the account are slim, Bety says that really, if it had been Gene's card and the money had been taken...well, that might have been possible, but she will reluctantly submit the mess of paperwork that I initiated, with Gene's signatures attached and we will see what the head office in Mexico City says.....hmmm....I think times haven't changed all that much. 

So yesterday, when we finally were able to take the awaited for trip to the coffee plantation and the mountains with our friends Monica and Anibel,  I wanted the altitude and country air to clear my head...I wanted to feel that magic I had felt last year when I first visited the "montanas" and saw the people.  Armed with a lunch and treats for the children, our Ford Explorer did the job of a good burro and brought us and the 16 year old son of Anibel's mountain neighbour to their home.  Sergio is one of 9 children of this hardworking couple.  Together with an older and younger brother, these 3 young men live in Zihuatanejo in a rented apartment that they pay the costs for in order to attend school during the week.  2 are employed by Anibel in his bamboo furniture factory, it is Anibel's way of assisting his neighbour and one more example for me of how people here all do help each other in unique ways. 

Once again, I met the mother, Angelina and her husband Genio.  Together with her lovely daughter in law, who is also the mother of a 4 month old 3rd child, the women quicky went to work making us our welcoming meal....they didn't have to, we weren't hungry, but we each knew that their offer meant more about the friendship than anything else.  

So after admiring children, taking photos, listening to the men chat, we went on what is their equivalent of a Sunday jaunt.  Accompanied by their elder son driving most of the family, we went further along the rough dirt road to Anibel's land...he says this proudly and it is the place he loves.  Anibel and I and Cori joined 2 athletic young men on the downhill trail tocheck his new bamboo plantation, an addition to the coffee plantation that he has recently made to ensure a supply of his material in the years to come.   We learned this was a bad year for coffee beans after the heavy rains in the summer,...but that is offset by the high price of the beans...so overall, smiles were evident, but I know these are not rich people...these are people who barely have enough.  I also learned that the United Nations is visiting this region to provide cash to farmers who agree to not clearcut their land and plant alternate crops to coffee, like the now evident avocado plantations nor clear land for cattle grazing. 

With only a minor flesh wound  (you can imagine the horrified looks of the Mexicans who thought they had injured me)  from that little walk through the forest,  our next stop was a short stroll through open pines and dry trees out to a spectacular "mirador" that opens with views of the surrounding hills and the coast from Barra de Potosi to Lazaro Cardenas.  It provided the perfect backdrop for some spectacular photos with Cori and his new family.  Angelina and her daughter in law carried the children who couldn't yet walk,...but they did this with no complaints....this was their outing too...I think this means a lot to women who spend 90% of their time working hard to keep everyone fed, clean, well and sheltered.  This was their chance to relax and recharge.  I learned that the word housewife in Mexico is "ama de casa"...and this "love of home" is what and who keeps the organization of food, health, safety and clothing for 9 children and the Chilapas workers who temporarily live here during the peaks of coffee plantation work.   I found myself thinking of these people like the pioneers who went to the wilderness of Canada, no this is not the harsh cold and brutal seasons of Canada, but nontheless, they are people who have forsaken a more modern lifestyle for a place where oldfashioned skills and values are what count.  Gene and I are lucky to have friends here in Mexico who allow us to share in the places they love.  Gracias once again Monica and Anibel for a day in the organic shadegrown coffee plantations of the high mountains. 
p.s. perhaps it was the love in my heart or the clear mountain air that cleared my thoughts so today when I went to the bank, I remembered who we had met with when my name was to be added to our account in January.The manager cheerfully welcomed me to his office where he miraculously found my file and yes indeed my name is now added to our chequing account...I'm again in existence in the eyes of Scotiabank.  Not a joint account...that would be too much, but I can write a cheque should I need to!!!  Que bueno!